On one hand I am relieved.
You have released me from this need to stay loyal to you.
In the same breath I truly sympathize.
Fear has made you become that that you once rebuked.
You must have been terrified!
I accepted your flaws but when mine showed you fled.
I stripped my heart bare but you fenced off yours.
I watered us and we blossomed only for you uproot us to non existent.
We wailed; “God help us”,
I know now that you meant “God help me”.
I should hate you!
To be human is a limiting thing sometimes.
If I had seen this end from the beginning I would have prayed for you more earnestly,
It is clearer now that you are going to need it.
I refuse to resent you.
To curse and regret you.
You were the light in my every dark place.
My favourite scent in every mess.
My thread to every tear.
You were my love.
The same love that made me will keep me.
I will cheer you on like I did when I first met you.
I will love you from a distance.
Only now I will love me more because it’s not my job to sacrifice any more.
And no, that is not loyalty, that is the grace of God.
The same Grace that He availed me when my toil failed.
In Him I can handle this wreckage too.
After all, He saw this from the beginning and perfected it to His will.
I trust him to keep you.